stealth35 saves the day

After some poking around I found that in PHP 5.4, arrays can be written like this:
$array = [
    "foo" => "bar",
    "bar" => "foo"];
and I tried finding a WAMP supporting PHP 5.4, which led to discovering this PHP version was released in early March.

I "updated" Ampps by replacing its PHP folder with an unzipped 5.4 folder. Other than a few warnings, it worked.

Then, the MongoDB driver refused to work. From Stack Overflow, I found a link to stealth35's compiled driver dll. Now, everything works!